Tinder Tips for Guys

GettyImages-625496288-5ab2c23c3418c60036096d1f

I’ve learned a lot about dating over the past twenty-something years, and let me tell you, it ain’t pretty. It takes a lot of pitfalls to figure out what you want in a partner. And even after you think you’ve been through it all, you probably haven’t.

So, in an effort to help all of the dudes out there in the dating world, I’ve compiled a list of tips for guys on Tinder, based on my past dating experiences. And by “experiences,” I mean “disasters.”

Tempted to learn more?

Here’s my list:

  1. Post pictures that resemble what you look like in real life. We’re going to find out eventually, so what’s the point of faking it?
  2. Leave the dead animal hunting prize pictures for your friends – they’re not attractive.
  3. If we ask you a question, ask us a question, too – this is a conversation, not an interview.
  4. Don’t call us “baby, “honey,” or any other pet name until we’ve made it clear we’re ok with it.
  5. I don’t want to see pictures of your private areas or your hairy chest unless we’re in the bedroom, ok?
  6. If you’re just looking for someone to talk to online, either tell us first or go on Facebook messenger, please.
  7. Don’t lie about where you live because Tinder will always tell us how many miles away you are.
  8. Don’t be secretly married.
  9. Don’t expect us to cross state or country borders for a first date.
  10. And please don’t just post pictures of your dog or give us your dog’s name in place of your own – they’re cute but we’re not going on a date with them.
  11. Don’t use “lol” or a bunch of emojis in every single message. Real words go a long way.
  12. Don’t talk about your ex. If I have to explain why, you shouldn’t be on Tinder.
  13. Be real. Don’t ask me where I’d travel to if I could go anywhere in the world unless you’re really dying to know.
  14. If you only want to post group pic’s of you and your friends on your profile, make sure we can tell who is who.
  15. Don’t assume that after exchanging a few messages we’re down for a date. Make the effort to have a real conversation.
  16. Don’t tell me about your sexual fantasies – they’re creepy, not cute.
  17. Download a photo app so your pictures look decent. If they’re too blurry or abstract, I’m swiping left.
  18. Don’t friend us on Facebook before or after a first date. That’s a big turn-off, and besides, we’re not even friends yet.
  19. Be polite – that should be a no-brainer.
  20. Don’t always take us out to dinner on the first date – get creative.
  21. Don’t post pictures of you with your ex-girlfriend or current girlfriend unless you know we’re looking for a threesome.
  22. Offer to pay on the first date. Bring cash, please.
  23. Don’t pick us up on the first date – we don’t know you yet. Go public before you get private.
  24. Use your real first name.
  25. Don’t look at your phone constantly during the date – put it away and pay attention. Common sense, folks.

Living in the Digital Age

Connection two persons

In a world permeated by technology, it’s hard not to become immersed in it. The patterns we create in our brains become habits, and the habits become our lives.  And in 2018, it’s hard to think of life without the great worldwide web. I don’t know about you, but whenever I think about the fact that the majority of my time is spent looking at a screen and pressing buttons, I freak out and have a mini-meltdown.

According to most, I’m considered a “millennial,”  – a term I have never been quite comfortable with as I have lived half of my life with technology, and the other half , without it.

I was born in 1981, back when the internet was still a pipe dream, and the only kind of media people knew about were the newspapers and reporters on TV.

As a teenager in the 1990’s, the only interaction I had with the internet was when I was in high school and hogged my parent’s phone line with AOL’s dial-up internet. I was never on the internet for very long, though as my mom or dad, twenty minutes after logging in, would yell out from the living room, “Honey, I have to use the phone – only five more minutes, okay?”

In 2002, I studied advertising, as a college student in New York City, and read about a new thing in the industry they were calling, “interactive television.” At the time I thought it was a nutty idea and privately doubted the possibility of it ever becoming a reality.  But with the rise of the internet and its seemingly endless possibilities, we now pretty much have interactive television  with streaming media channels like Netflix, Hulu, Roku, and Amazon Prime, among many more.

But despite all the technological advances of the digital age, none of it has lived up to my childhood fantasies. When I was little, I always imagined that my adult life would be like “The Jetsons.” Who doesn’t want a robot maid and flying cars? So, as much as I like technology, I’m also a little disappointed, as it never became as wondrous as my childhood fantasies. But technology is a changing sphere, full of more innovation than any other industry. And I, for one, secretly hope my Jetson’s dreams will one day be a reality, complete with a life on Mars and an apartment that orbits the sky. It’s possible, right?