Tinder Tips for Guys

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I’ve learned a lot about dating over the past twenty-something years, and let me tell you, it ain’t pretty. It takes a lot of pitfalls to figure out what you want in a partner. And even after you think you’ve been through it all, you probably haven’t.

So, in an effort to help all of the dudes out there in the dating world, I’ve compiled a list of tips for guys on Tinder, based on my past dating experiences. And by “experiences,” I mean “disasters.”

Tempted to learn more?

Here’s my list:

  1. Post pictures that resemble what you look like in real life. We’re going to find out eventually, so what’s the point of faking it?
  2. Leave the dead animal hunting prize pictures for your friends – they’re not attractive.
  3. If we ask you a question, ask us a question, too – this is a conversation, not an interview.
  4. Don’t call us “baby, “honey,” or any other pet name until we’ve made it clear we’re ok with it.
  5. I don’t want to see pictures of your private areas or your hairy chest unless we’re in the bedroom, ok?
  6. If you’re just looking for someone to talk to online, either tell us first or go on Facebook messenger, please.
  7. Don’t lie about where you live because Tinder will always tell us how many miles away you are.
  8. Don’t be secretly married.
  9. Don’t expect us to cross state or country borders for a first date.
  10. And please don’t just post pictures of your dog or give us your dog’s name in place of your own – they’re cute but we’re not going on a date with them.
  11. Don’t use “lol” or a bunch of emojis in every single message. Real words go a long way.
  12. Don’t talk about your ex. If I have to explain why, you shouldn’t be on Tinder.
  13. Be real. Don’t ask me where I’d travel to if I could go anywhere in the world unless you’re really dying to know.
  14. If you only want to post group pic’s of you and your friends on your profile, make sure we can tell who is who.
  15. Don’t assume that after exchanging a few messages we’re down for a date. Make the effort to have a real conversation.
  16. Don’t tell me about your sexual fantasies – they’re creepy, not cute.
  17. Download a photo app so your pictures look decent. If they’re too blurry or abstract, I’m swiping left.
  18. Don’t friend us on Facebook before or after a first date. That’s a big turn-off, and besides, we’re not even friends yet.
  19. Be polite – that should be a no-brainer.
  20. Don’t always take us out to dinner on the first date – get creative.
  21. Don’t post pictures of you with your ex-girlfriend or current girlfriend unless you know we’re looking for a threesome.
  22. Offer to pay on the first date. Bring cash, please.
  23. Don’t pick us up on the first date – we don’t know you yet. Go public before you get private.
  24. Use your real first name.
  25. Don’t look at your phone constantly during the date – put it away and pay attention. Common sense, folks.

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